Wikitravel Page for Akihabara

Here is my excerpt for the Wikitravel page for Akihabara, Japan, telling visitors how to stay safe in the world-famous Electric Town, mecca for anime otaku everywhere.

(Parody of the page for Mogadishu, Somalia: the most lawless and dangerous city on Earth.)

The safest way through Akihabara (known to seasoned locals as Akiba) is escorted by maid cafe peacekeeping forces; however, uniformed maids are a target for the otakus and may come under attack. Independent travel is suicidal. Unpredictable conflicts among rival otakus are prevalent in and around Akihabara and can flare up with little or no warning. Lines of control for gaming systems in Akihabara are unclear and frequently shift, making movement within the city extremely hazardous. When being escorted by armed security maids, it is best to be in an anime-deco car. Card-game fans are highly likely to get engaged in street battles, and an anime-deco vehicle can provide far better protection against most threats. A Wii gun is a must-have for self-protection in Akihabara. Again, the easiest way of staying safe is to order your anime goods online unless vitally necessary.